Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize