1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
