Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
