He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't turn off my feet"
sex in a hospital.. check
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
