I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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