oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
