Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
