I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize