sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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