It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
