Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
