I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
