MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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