I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
