if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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