God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i barfeds in our rink
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize