I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize