It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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