Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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