i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
