We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
