toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
is wine microwaveable?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
