No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
