On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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