i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
