You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
