She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
