My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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