VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
