Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
return my video game
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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