did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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