I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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