His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
