i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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