How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
im holly from the hills drunk
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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