Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
