Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
