I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
this is an emotional support booty call
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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