He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
