All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Found the puke drawer
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
