I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
do herpes really smell.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize