I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
