I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
