Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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