she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
