that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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