No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
