is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
