Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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