I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize