I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
