Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
