I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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