remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
