She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
