just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
