i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
