Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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