she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
