Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
