Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
