a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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