let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
