You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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