you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
