his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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