i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
