Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
