Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Randomize
