So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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