Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
