Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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