try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
