dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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