Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
