You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
and you fell through a lawn chair
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
