He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
