Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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