believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
