Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
