how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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